Brave New World

It seems like everyday brings something new to us these days. Mini Me started summer school this week. The bus came by to pick him up on Monday morning (first time on a bus) and I thought I was going to lose it. I put him on the bus and quickly went back into the house. I felt a whole range of emotions I didn't know lived in me. I was excited, sad that he was leaving me, worried that he was scared about this whole new experience that I wasn't there to help him transition through. Turns out he was fine, I was the one who was the wreck about everything. He loves school and his new teachers, which I am grateful for. Now I just need to learn to navigate through the field of people who don't quite understand what it's like to have a sensational child.

These last two weeks marked the end of the school year for us and the beginning of summer vacation. This of course means trying to arrange time for Boy Wonder (Mini's older brother) plenty of time to see two of his best friends. Of course we have been overwhelmingly blessed by the boys that he has chosen as his best friends. I know their families well and they are great families. One of the moms is like my rock. She is strong, in control, and can handle 4 boys under the age of 8 like no mans business. The other (a teacher) is much more mild mannered. She and I have had quite a few conversations about Mini's destructive nature (as well as his diagnosis) and she, being so sweet and mild, simply said to me "oh he's so quiet and sweet, he can't be destructive". That is of course until he was, all over her backyard. Mini likes garden stuff- wire butterflies, glass lights, trinkets of that sort. So it came as no surprise to me that in the ten minutes he was in their backyard with Boy Wonder and his friend that Mini managed to do some damage to some wire butterflies. Of course I apologized profusely and offered to pay for any damage (btw, both boys are costing us a fortune in damaged property already). But still I found that both Boy Wonder and Mini Me were not allowed back over for a while. That was it. Play date hiatus. I didn't tell Boy Wonder that the reason he couldn't go over to his best friends house was because of his brother. That would have just given him more of a reason to despise Mini. Instead, I chose to sweep it under the rug and not mention it to Boy Wonder. But it leaves me to wonder, in a world of people that you think are understanding and sympathetic, are they really? Or are they understanding only until it inconveniences them?

Somedays I feel like I have diarrhea of the mouth. I am constantly explaining to people why I have to follow Mini around to make sure that he's not breaking things, starting a fight, jumping on the neighbors dog and trying to bite them (seriously happened yesterday) or running and screaming down the street. Everyday brings something new. I only pray that that I am up to whatever tomorrow has in store for me.

Shaved Ice and Epic Meltdowns

It's a beautiful summer like day here in Southern California. With school getting out next week I am already in full on summer mode. So I decided that for a special treat I would take Mini Me and Boy Wonder out for shaved ice (i.e. summer in a paper up cup). Both boys were very excited until we walked in the door. It was crowded. The floor was sticky. There were too many choices (no lie, this was an actual complaint). There wasn't any place to sit. Blah,blah, blah... So we waited in line. The boys finally decided what they wanted and then we waited longer to get our shaved ice. Mini Me was having a particularly tough time. He was wearing flip flops for the first time and they would not stay on his feet. The floor was sticky so his flip flops were sticking to the floor. He was frustrated. Finally a table opened up and we sat down. Guess what? Yeah the table was sticky too, super. We get our shaved ice and Mini hates that it's too cold. So he begins to ask for a pretzel. No Mini, I bought you a shaved ice, that's what they have here at oahu's shaved ice. Not happy, but not melting down. Yet. Then he accidentally kicks Boy Wonder under the table and Boy Wonder immediately screams at him. Mini screams back and covers his ears. They are now shouting at each other in the middle of a crowded eatery. People around us turn around and stare at the screamfest thats going down. Mini freaks out and runs for the door screaming. Now I have to pause this story to tell you about the location. It is in a strip mall on the corner of two busy roads. Given Mini's proclivities to run into the street I basically have one choice- leave Boy Wonder, my purse, the shaved ice and run like i am on fire. Fortunately I get to the door before he does. I scoop up all 50 pounds of him and take him back to the table, get all of our stuff, and take the boys outside. Mini clings to me, making his upset sounds as we sit. Boy Wonder realizes the gravity of what went down and he truly feels remorse (either that or he knows he wont get his good brother sticker of the day). The shaved ice is nearly melted and I am tired of the prying eyes that just witnessed the meltdown. We get in the car and leave. I take a deep breath and think about my next shaved ice- one that is heavy on the Cabernet and light on the ice...

Smart people say the dumbest things

We've all been there. The college roommate who pulled A's in Organic Chemistry and yet asked the dumbest questions about the world around her. Or the guy at work who was brilliant with numbers and could build a database in his sleep, but when it came to those around him, he had zero social skills and always seemed to say the most inappropriate things and the wrong time. Today I encountered our very intelligent, yet very dumb speech therapist, we will call her Ms. K.

Ms. K works with speech delayed preschoolers for the entire school district. All kinds of kids on the Autism spectrum come to see her, kids with SPD, and of course those that are just speech delayed. So the words that came out of her mouth today kind of took me off guard.

So there I was, waiting in the lobby for Mini to come out of his speech session. Normally we play a game where I pretend not to see him come through the door and then he surprises me at the last minute. Well today was different. Ms. K wanted to talk to me and was trying to get my attention, so I looked up. BIG MISTAKE. Mini threw himself to the floor, crying and screaming in the lobby of the school. I ran over to pick him up to move him out of the walkway so he wouldn't get stepped on. Then Ms. K asked the question I never thought that I would hear from a children's specialist: "what's wrong with him?" Um, huh? Really? You know his condition, you have his IEP, and you know that he's prone to meltdowns. She went on to tell me about Mini's progress and where he's hitting his goals, but honestly I didn't hear what she was telling me. All I could think about was how this intelligent woman could be so dumb.

Breakthroughs

It has been three weeks since we got the diagnosis. Since then we have been have set up an IEP, signed Mini Me up for special ed summer school and special ed pre kindergarten for the fall, and started going to speech therapy twice a week. In the these past three weeks we have had good days and also some very bad days. Today though, was a break through.

 Let me take you back to October when Mini Me switched preschools (pre-diagnosis). I switched him to a more academic preschool which also happened to be the same campus that had the elementary school Boy Wonder (his 7 year old brother) went to. Convenient for me. Bonus! Well as I soon found out this was the worst possible move I could have made. Mini hates change with a vengeance. I spent the first 5 months picking him up from school at least once a week (he only goes to school 3 days a week) and days that he didn't get sent home his teacher would tell me what a tough time he had at school. Monday was PT (perceptual training- bouncing balls, kicking balls, jumping, etc). Mini would lay on the floor and close his eyes. Wednesday was Music, Mini would flop down in the doorway and need to be physically moved. Friday was chapel. Mini would hide under the chairs. Any time he had to transition from the class to one of these other activities he would get very frustrated and lash out. For whatever reason he particularly hates Music. Since today was Wednesday Music class was on the agenda. Joy. Music days are usually the days that I get called. Morning came and went with no phone call. At pick up his teacher told me that he actually walked into Music and sat right down on the bench!!! He didn't participate, but he didn't fall apart either!! He even came home singing a song they had learned about Baby Beluga!

Since Mini was such a good boy in school today I decided to take him to lunch. Now, one thing about Mini is sometimes his sentence structure is hard to understand. All 4 year olds are tough to underdtand at times, but Mini's grammar isn't quite to level of his peers. As I mentioned before we started speech therapy a few weeks back. The first class he actually went off without me willingly. Ordinarily he hides behind me, clutching my leg making noises. And he went willingly! I digress though. So sitting outside Chipotle today we are talking about his day when all of a sudden he says "look she has a dress on". Mini has NEVER used the pronoun "she". Everything was "he" and "his". Part of our IEP was to improve his use of pronouns. And here in front of Chipotle, three weeks after starting speech therapy, my sweet Mini Me used the word "her" correctly. It made my heart skip!

This is just the beginning of our journey, but I will tell you I am over the moon excited about the changes I have seen in my Mini Me in just three weeks. The road ahead of us is long, but I am looking forward to the victories both big and small...

Diagnosis

Welcome to The Sensational Life. This blog is all about our lives- a mom, a dad, and two sons. One of which has Sensory Processing Disorder. So let me start off by telling you all about our diagnosis and our origins into our "sensational life"... Mini Me (our sensational son) was born through totally hippy birth means- drug free, widwife birth, whole food diet nourished. He was almost 9 pounds born full term. A week after he was born, he dropped to 8 pounds and was labeled a failure to thrive baby. Despite my best efforts to give him the best that I could, he got numerous ear infections as a baby,  was diagnosed with asthma at 10 months old, strabismus and esotropia at 20 months (that resulted in 2 eye surgeries), sleep apnea at age 3 (that led to a tonsillectomy and adenodectomy), and now the diagnosis that I have been dreading, autism with sensory processing disorder. In my heart of hearts I have known for some time. He has run from me out of the store straight into parking lot on multiple occasions, put a hamster in the freezer (don't worry he lived), popped the lock on the preschool playground with a stick, jumped off the couch and cracked his head open on the couch that resulted in 3 staples (which he cried for all of 10 seconds over), runs and screams when he's done something to get him in trouble, tries to choke the dog any chance he gets, is prone to violence and screams when he is not understood, dumps every bottle of shampoo/conditioner/shaving cream down the drain when he is in the shower, and has drawn all over my freezer in highlighter. Some of these seem silly, but having an older son I know that some of these things that mini me does just ain't right. And so, swallowing some pride I reached out. First I thought maybe he has a hearing problem because he rarely responds when he is called, so I had that tested. Nope, he hears just fine, he just doesn't listen. Then we moved on to a 2 month process involving a psychiatrist, speech therapist, his preschool teachers, and preschool director. The result came today- mild to moderate autism with sensory processing disorders. It hit like a slap in the face. The sting burned my eyes and my throat. To see the diagnosis in black and white hurt.

Now I have known many families with special needs children. My first experience was when we lived in Texas and I met a woman with two boys, the older of which was autistic. She was amazing. She took life in stride and was (and I am sure still is) an amazing mom to her boys. Nothing ever seemed to bring her down. Then, my sweet little nephew was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago. My brother and sister in law took it in stride and did everything that they can for him. I always admired them for their perseverance and patience even when things were crazy. So you would think that I would prepared and ready to face mini me's diagnosis. Unfortunately for me I was in denial a bit. I thought, he's just a 4 year old and they are all a little jerky he will turn 5 and it will be done. He will turn 5, but it won't be done. There will be speech therapy, special education classes, occupational therapy, specialists, the list goes on and on for who knows how long. I will come to grips with my new reality, but it won't be tonight. Tonight I nurse that sting and throw myself a pity party with just me and a bottle of wine...